Procrastinators unite, tomorrow: Confessions of a master’s student
By: Marlena Robbins
Tribal Affiliation: Diné, Mescalero Apache & Spanish
M.S. American Indian Studies — Indigenous Rights & Social Justice
I took two years off from school after completing my undergrad to reevaluate my priorities and find a master’s degree worth pursuing. I knew my study habits were no match for law school having just barely graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice after seven years, but my ambition was still intact and I am stubborn.
When I found ASU’s American Indian Studies (AIS) masters program in Indigenous Rights and Social Justice, I knew this was my calling. I was reminded of the social and environmental impacts affecting tribal communities and saw this as my chance to join the resistance.
As a single mother, the professors were understanding and I was able to bring my son along for the ride, granted he was kept entertained with a bag full snacks and his babysitter, the iPad. He is a constant reminder of my determination to teach him the truth in the face of a system designed to keep him compliant. Thankfully, he has built healthy friendships with several of the AIS professors, scheduling Minecraft appointments and adorning their offices with his artistic talent.
I did not know what to expect out of a master’s program except that it would be harder and require way more reading. In hindsight, I was not the best student; I usually skimmed the readings 30 minutes before class and submitted 100 percent of my assignments precisely at the 11:59 p.m. deadline, not sooner. I often asked my professors for extensions or makeups due to my lack of appreciation for time and planning. During my 2017 Spring semester I received an “I” for Incomplete as a final grade for a paper that did no justice to the life and legacy of Vine Deloria.
I felt embarrassed, ashamed and bitter toward my abilities to continue pursuing this degree. Many times I felt like giving up and walking away, but the support system was too powerful to ignore and not take advantage of. I started attending office hours and for once in my entire collegiate career began getting to know my professors. It is easy to get lost among the sea of university students, but there is simply no excuse for the AIS program. We are small but mighty, and the professors have more to share than their intellect; they are humans who were once students themselves.
I chose the thesis track and, as an already admitted procrastinator, proceeded to put my project off until I could no longer handle the pressure. My thesis Art as a Spiritual Expression for Indigenous Wellbeing focuses on art as a form of creative release that supports balance, growth and harmony. Art can take on many forms, meanings and have a multitude of emotional, mental, physical and spiritual effects on its creator as well as its audience. My research has taught me that I am human first with a line of ancestors stretching back thousands of years leading up to this very moment as I type these words. It has taught me that my experiences have shaped my perceptions and that my habits — both good and bad — shape my existence. It has taught me to reflect on and deepen my connection to the world around me through thoughtful interactions as I further explore my purpose here as a Diné mother, daughter, sister and woman.
Defending my thesis is the last leg of my master’s program and though I have chosen to carelessly spend my time consuming Netflix, I am reminded of the commitment I took on in the beginning. Fortunately, I have several strong mentors dedicated to witnessing my growth: thank you Dr. Romero-Little, Dr. Vicenti-Carpio, Dr. Marley, Professor Meders, Dr. Martinez and Dr. Riding In for your commitment to our success.
